


The Choices We Make

by mrscaptainrogers



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, SteveTonyFest, fluff ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 20:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1870530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrscaptainrogers/pseuds/mrscaptainrogers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony takes the Extremis virus after a mission to stay alive. Steve doesn't agree with the decision and wishes that Tony would think and care more about himself before making drastic decisions. Tony mistakes it for Steve not wanting him alive. After a near-death situation, Tony learns what Steve really mean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Choices We Make

**Author's Note:**

> For the stevetonyfest! This is my gift for myrantplace on tumblr. This is my first fanfiction ever so I hope it's okay! :)

Tony Stark was never a man who thought out his decisions. Regrets, consequences. Those always came later. Tony Stark did what he had to do. In Tony’s current moment injecting himself with the Extremis virus was a must. He would work out the details later, figure out a way to survive with it.  Right now the only thing that he was thinking about was saving himself. Tony still felt like he had so much to offer the world, The Avengers needed him. He wasn’t going to die, not here and certainly not now.

 

Stubborn was one of the many words that could be used to describe Tony. Nobody really understood why he had locked himself down in his lab for several days without a word. It wasn’t the fact that they didn’t care, it was more so Tony had locked the rest of them out. They could only rely on J.A.R.V.I.S. letting them know that Tony was fine, ‘coping’ with the last mission.  Little did they realize that Tony would have died if he hadn’t.

 

Three days had passed when Tony finally emerged from his lab. He could feel the stares from everyone on the back of his neck. He knew they had questions, but he also knew that none of them would flat out ask. They all decided he needed space, and Natasha would eventually find out if push came to shove. She had a knack of finding out information without even having to say a word. One of the various reasons that Tony chose not to trust her.

 

When Tony returned to his lab, he had expected somebody to come shortly after. He honestly expected Bruce to be the one, it shocked him to say when he say that it was Steve in the lab. He knew that Steve felt like he had to keep a special eye on him, being Howard’s son and all. Tony wish he could just tell him that he’s not a kid anymore, that he can take care of himself. He couldn’t do that to Steve, he knew the soldier meant well, that he had Tony’s best interests at heart, no matter how annoying. Plus Tony genuinely looked up to Steve.

 

“In case you hadn’t heard Cap, visiting hours are every other Thursday and today is Tuesday.” Tony said casually, hoping that Steve would take the hint that he was indeed okay, and that he could leave. Tony wasn’t in the socializing mood. He was still running tests and trying to figure out Extremis.

 

“Funny, I didn’t see a sign.” Steve retorted back, looking around as if one existed. “C’mon Stark, you know why I’m here. You haven’t been…around since the last mission. We’ve been worried about you.” The words flowed out so casually from his mouth.

 

“There’s nothing to worry about Steve. I’m here, I’m alive, we can move on with our lives.”

 

Tony turned his back to Steve, hoping the second hint will take place in his mind. He focused more on the holograms in front of him, working out a suit that would sustain the heat from the extremis. Steve assumed Tony was continuing his own hobby.

               

“Sir, the tests on extremis are complete.” J.a.r.v.i.s.’s voice rang out into the lab, tests results flashing onto the various holograms around the lab.

               

“Extremis?” Steve’s voice dripped with curiosity, turning to look at one of the holograms. Tony’s vitals and a visual of his body with extremis flowing through it. It didn’t take long for Steve to realize what was going on. He might not be a genius, but he wasn’t unintelligent by no means.

               

“This is what you’ve been up too?” he questioned, the start of a frown on his face. Tony could hear the disapproval in Steve’s voice, but he tried not to focus on it. Instead he tried to focus on the fact that what he did was the right thing. He needed to believe that, and he needed his teammates to believe him too. If he hadn’t then he would be dead. It was the only option.

               

“I did what I had to do Steve, I’m fine.” He was alive, trying to keep things going. He’d figure out something else, but until then he would live with his decision. Pepper was, and she was doing just fine. Tony didn’t s

ee any reason why he couldn’t be fine until he worked out the solution.

               

“Tony, this is dangerous. You’re going to get yourself killed, you will die.” Steve pointed out.  “You know the dangers, this will kill you.”

               

“If I hadn’t, I would be dead Steve. Why can’t you understand that?” Wasn’t this the best option? Tony was alive? In the mechanic’s mind this was all that mattered. It was just a temporary solution. Was he the only one that understood this concept?

               

“So this was your only option? I fail to believe that Stark. There’s always another option.”

               

“There wasn’t this time. Steve. I did what I had to do, to stay alive. “

               

Steve sighed, there was a heaviness to it. The sound of defeat. Tony knew that Steve wasn’t going to argue it anymore. He felt like he had disappointed Steve. It hurt more than what he cared to admit to. He had always admired Steve, looked up to him since he was a kid. The fact that he had disappointed Steve, that Steve couldn’t even look at him made him feel bad.

               

Tony couldn’t make sense of it, and his thoughts were running a thousand miles a minute. Was Steve trying to imply something here? The soldier hadn’t even told him that he was glad that he was alive, hadn’t even asked him how he was doing. Did Steve not really care? Had Steve wanted him to die on the field? Die on their mission. Was this some sort of old fashioned thing where Tony would have died with honor on the battlefield? That might have been Steve’s way, but that wasn’t Tony’s way. Tony didn’t give up, it wasn’t an option. Maybe to Steve it was, but not for Tony.

 

Tension ran high between Steve and Tony. Everybody saw it, but nobody dared to ask questions. It killed Tony. Steve couldn’t even look him in the eye, let alone say a word to him. They didn’t speak, didn’t even acknowledge each other. It killed Tony, more than what he cared to admit. It ate away his thoughts, little by little.

 

Tony tried, tried to apologize to Steve. Yet every time Tony tried, Steve turned and walked the opposite direction. They might have been living together in the same tower, and working on the same team, but it was almost as if they were in separate countries.

 

Thoughts, they plagued his mind. Hour after hour they took his toll on him. Maybe Steve was right. Maybe there was another option, maybe he should have died. Was that the option that Steve was implying? With Extremis, Tony was a handicap. He was a weak link. He couldn’t be of use, if he was constantly having to worry about overheating.

 

Tony did what he thought was needed to be done. Taking more risks, trying to get Extremis to overheat. If he could get himself to do it, then he’d die of natural causes. Steve wanted him dead, didn’t want him around because he should have died. If that was what he wanted, then Tony would help make it happen. It was better than having Steve judge him, glare at him. Nobody else seemed to care really, nobody would miss him, Tony was solving the problem for every

 

Tony was honestly beyond the word of caring. He just didn’t have it in him anymore. Captain America would be able to lead the team, he always called the shots and everybody listened to him. He was loved and Tony knew that the world needed Captain America. There was no need for Iron Man anymore, not since he took Extremis. He should have died.

 

Tony didn’t realize how soon of a reality that would be, how unpredictable missions could be. When there were casualties in a burning building, Tony didn’t hesitate nor think twice. He had to save them. If he could die, he would rather know that he died saving somebody else. He exhaled in relief as the building came crashing down around him, because at least he knew that he knew that others got to live. He died sacrificing himself, Steve didn’t have to worry about him, or Extremis anymore.

 

Tony didn’t hear the desperate yell of his name coming from Steve’s voice. He was jolted by surprise when he felt a pair of firm hands clasp around his shoulders. He could feel himself getting weak, vision threatening to go dark as he coughed from the smoke inhalation. Once Steve had fully pulled Tony from the wreckage he was able to breathe again.

 

Tony had been sent, examined and released from the hospital after a few days. He didn’t understand it, why did Steve save his life? Didn’t he want him dead? He didn’t even have it in him to question or argue or whatever it was that Steve wanted when they were alone together back at Avengers Tower. Steve had cleared out the others, hoping to get some one on one time with Tony while the mechanic made himself some coffee.

“Come to yell at me some more? It’s not needed Steve.” Tony said sourly as he mixed the sugar and the cream into the coffee.

 

“I’m not here to yell at you Tony.” Steve reassured Tony. Steve swallowed the lump in his throat, licking his lips as he took a deep breath to say. Silently gathering the right words to say. “I came here to apologize.”

That caused Tony to turn around, looking at his fellow Avenger with shock. After all that’s happened the past few weeks, he couldn’t believe that Steve was willing to apologize. Of course Tony’s abnormally large ego refused to let him apologize first.

 

“I was out of line. I should have listened to you, talked to you more. Not shut you out. I-I feel like by keeping my distance I was pushing you away. I never.” Steve paused for a second, looking down and shaking his head. “I was afraid you were going to die, in that building.” He admitted.

 

“I thought you wanted me dead.” The tone was acid, lips pursing in disgust as he thought about it. “Wasn’t that what the argument was about? Extremis? That I should have died?”

 

“No! I don’t want to see you hurt. Extremis is dangerous, and I couldn’t live with myself if something bad happened to you.” Steve looked at Tony in shock, hurtful. “I’d never want you like that.”

 

Tony had opened his mouth to say something, but was caught off when Steve’s lips were suddenly pressed onto his. He stood there in shock for a moment, Captain America, the golden boy was kissing him. It only took a second for Tony’s mind to snap back into place and for him to kiss him back. He wrapped his arms around the soldier’s neck, returning the kiss eagerly. After what was a few minutes, they finally (reluctantly) pulled away.

 

“Tony I’d never want you dead. You’ve made me so happy since waking up from the ice that-that I don’t know what I would do without you.” He admitted, a soft smile appearing onto his feature. “I’m falling for you Tony. I’d be devastated if you ended up dead.”

 

Tony felt like a fool. Steve had never wanted him dead to begin with. Steve had cared about him so much that he was scared for Tony. He felt guilty, but he wasn’t going to let anymore thoughts plague through his mind. He was fine, Steve wanted him alive. Everything was going to be okay. That thought made Tony grin as he pressed his lips to Steve’s, this time initiating the kiss himself.

 

“Will you go out on a date with me?” Tony asked, breathlessly, words mumbled against Steve’s lips.

 

“I thought you’d never ask.” Steve replied, kissing him again without a care in the world.


End file.
